- Chris Morrow: I'd be stupid to trust my life to a walking penis.
- Richard "Ditch" Brodie: I'm much more than a walking penis, I'm a flying penis!
Nastassja Kinski - Chris Morrow
Charlie Sheen - Richard "Ditch" Brodie

“- Pherber: Did you never have a female feel?
- Chas: No! Never! I feel like a man! A man - all the time.
- Pherber: That's awful. That's what's wrong with you, isn't it?
- Chas: What do you mean?
- Pherber: A man's man's world.”
Anita Pallenberg - Pherber
James Fox - Chas

“- Malcolm: How do you know they can't breed?
- Wu: Because all the animals in Jurassic Park are female. We've engineered them that way.”
Jeff Goldblum - Malcolm
BD Wong - Wu

“- Surplus Store Owner: Why don't they call you guys officer-esses?
- Sandra: I beg your pardon?
- Surplus Store Owner: Like actress. Something to signify... you know.
- Sandra: I guess they feel a police officer is a police officer. Not a... you know.
- Surplus Store Owner: Okay then. Sorry I couldn't have been helpful, officer-ess.”
Frederic Forrest - Surplus Store Owner
Rachel Ticotin - Sandra

“- Elizabeth: I miss my son.
- Bree: Mom, you never had a son.”
Fionnula Flanagan - Elizabeth
Felicity Huffman - Bree