“- Wanda Gershwitz: I thought you weren't jealous?
- Otto: I'm not. I don't believe in jealousy, it's for the weak. One thing though. Touch his dick and he's dead!”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Wanda Gershwitz
Kevin Kline - Otto

“- Susan Goldman: Wait, we can't do this.
- Donny: Why not?
- Susan Goldman: Because you would be afraid that I was thinking of Dave and I would be afraid that you were thinking about Clair.
- Donny: Well, what if you thought about Clair, and I thought about Dave?”

Amy Brenneman - Susan
Paul Reiser - Donny

“Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me!”
Steven Grayhm - Russ - Party Boy

“It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychoticjealousy.”
Rupert Everett - George Downes

“- John Harris, Sr.: Oh by the way, I'm coming to pick up my kids on Saturday.
- Bernadine Harris: Yeah? If I hear you had 'em anywhere near that tramp bitch, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life!”
Michael Beach - John Harris, Sr.
Angela Bassett - Bernadine Harris