“- Dave Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
- Donald Schoenstein: How long you been workin' on it?
- Dave Jennings: Four and a half years.
- Larry Kroger: It must be very good.
- Dave Jennings: It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?”
Donald Sutherland - Dave Jennings
Peter Riegert - Donald Schoenstein
Tom Hulce - Larry Kroger

“- Peter McGowan: Maybe that's everything in writing: a catchy title.
- Debra Salhany: So is that why you decided to call your first novel 'How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog'?
- Peter McGowan: Oh, that isn't mere affectation. That's a practical guidebook full of juicy bits on suburban terrorism.”
Sir Kenneth Branagh - Peter McGowan
Peri Gilpin - Debra Salhany

“- Henrietta: Tell me about your adventure.
- Sebastian: I can't remember anything.
- Henrietta: That's going to make a hell of a novel. 300 blank pages.
- Sebastian: Shut up.”
Clark Gregg - Henrietta
Adrian Grenier - Sebastian Cole

“I can't finish the novel, I don't know whether he's good or bad.”

Sammi Cheng - Mary

“- Aunt Agnes: What is that you're reading? Show me.
- Cedric: It's the new E. M. Forster novel.
- Aunt Agnes: Oh! Not another of them! Is it amusing?
- Cedric: Why, I find it difficult to identify with the characters, but the locations are quite enchanting.”
Prunella Scales - Aunt Agnes
Robert Portal - Cedric