“- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: What the hell is this?
- Elwood Blues: This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving 'em away.
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Well thank you, pal. The day I get outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car!”
John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic.
[looks disgusted, picks something up with his pen]
One soiled.”

Frank Oz - Corrections Officer

“I never been in no cell that had a phone in it. Can I stay for a while, 'cause I ordered some pizza.”
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“Do you know that they do to soft, bald, overweight Republicans in prison, Ernest?”
Bruce Willis - Ernest Menville

“- Clifford Franklin: Coach, ain't that stuff illegal?
- Jimmy McGinty: What are they going to do? Put you in football jail?”

Orlando Jones - Clifford Franklin
Gene Hackman - Jimmy McGinty