- Anne Uumellmahaye: Michael, you do so much for me, and I do nothing for you.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Are you out of your head? Sorry, I forgot. As far as I'm concerned, you're the most complete woman I've ever known. All my life, I wanted women with great bodies, women who were "Tens". Now, for the first time, I'm aroused by a mind.
Sissy Spacek - Anne Uumellmahaye
Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr

“I sang and nobody listened, I painted and nobody cared to look, I killed 4 people and what happens? A work of art.”
Daniel Craig - Perry Smith

“- The Great Edgar: I've got a good mind to...
- Charlie: Why don't you use it?”
Edgar Bergen - The Great Edgar
Charlie McCarthy - Charlie

“I'd rather be smart than be an actor.”
Dickie Jones - Pinocchio

“- Verne: So you outsmarted me, huh?
- Julie: That's what happens, they tell me, when smart people get together. One of them winds up ahead.”
Clark Gable - Verne
Joan Crawford - Julie