“The Man with Two Brains” quotes(1983)
Plot – Dr. Michel Hfuhruhurr is a piooner of brain surgery. He is a widower and he is seduced by the beautiful Dolores, who convinces him to marry her. During an international meeting of medicine, Hfuhruhurr meets the extravagant Dr. Necessiter, who secretly keeps a collection of “living” human brains in his laboratory. Hfuhruhurr finds out to be particularly attracted to one of those brains.
All actors – Steve Martin, Kathleen Turner, David Warner, Paul Benedict, Richard Brestoff, James Cromwell, George Furth, Peter Hobbs, Earl Boen, Bernie Hern, Francis X. McCarthy, William Traylor, Randi Brooks, Bernard Behrens, Russell Orozco, Natividad Vacío, David Byrd, Adrian Ricard, Sparky Marcus, Perla Walter, Mya Stark, Don McLeod, Peter Elbling, Kate Sarchet, Wendy Sherman, Warwick Sims, Breck Costin, Tom Spratley, Estelle Reiner, Art Holliday, Jeffrey Combs, Jenny Gago, Elma V. Jackson, Oceana Marr, John Easton Stuart, Haunani Minn, Mel Gold, Stepfanie Kramer, George Fisher, Merv Griffin, Sissy Spacekshow all
“The Man with Two Brains” Quotes 26 quotes
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: There it is, darling. Your new home. The House of Hfuhruhurr.
- Dolores: What are those assholes doing on the porch?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Those aren't assholes. It's pronounced "azaleas".
- Anne Uumellmahaye: Michael, you do so much for me, and I do nothing for you.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Are you out of your head? Sorry, I forgot. As far as I'm concerned, you're the most complete woman I've ever known. All my life, I wanted women with great bodies, women who were "Tens". Now, for the first time, I'm aroused by a mind.
“- Dr. Brandon: Dr. Beckerman was murdered in Europe - you know that.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Exactly. Not only is he dead, he's six thousand miles away.”
I've always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and - it's just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, everybody recognized me. I couldn't even lurk anymore. I'd hear, "Who's that lurking over there? Isn't that Merv Griffin?". So I came to Europe to kill. And it's really worked out very well for me.
“Cover her breasts. I'm a man, flesh and blood.”
“I get so excited when you get angry. It makes me feel so much closer to the reading of the will.”
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: What are they saying?
- Dr. Conrad: They are just saying "murmur, murmur, murmur".
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You mean it's just sort of a general murmur?
- Dr. Conrad: Yeah. Murmur.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Oh.
“- Little Girl: Sounds like a subdural hematoma to me.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Oh, it does, does it? Well, it's not your job to diagnose.
- Little Girl: But I thought...
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You thought, you thought. Just go. Three years of nursery school and you think you know it all. Well, you're still wet behind the ears. It's not a...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Dolores, I am making a citizen's divorce.
- Dolores: What?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: By the powers vested in me, I hereby declare our marriage null and void! E pluribus unum!”
“The operations seems to be a success. But the doctor died.”
“- Inspector: You are playing God.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Somebody has to.”
“- Olsen: I appreciate you letting me observe that brain operation today.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: It would have been more complicated if it had needed one, but since you wanted to observe my technique...”
“- Dr. Necessiter: As you know, my research has advanced to a point where I can put her mind into the body of a gorilla.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I couldn't fuck a gorilla.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people.”
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Would you read that back to me? I'm afraid that might make me sound pompous to your readers.
- Olsen: "My brilliant research in brain transplantation is unsurpassed, and will probably make my name live beyond eternity".
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Well, that's all right. Take out the "probably". It makes me sound... (continue)(continue reading)
“- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I can't inject you with window cleaner.
- Fran: I don't mind. Hey, what does it do anyway?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: It causes your brain to die last.
- Fran: I don't mind.”
“- Dolores: By the way, I fired Ramon yesterday.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Ramon? Ramon is such a fine man. What did he do?
- Dolores: He came up behind me and he grabbed my breasts.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: What? I haven't even done that yet.”
“I've never seen so many brains out of their heads before! I feel like a kid in a candy store.”
“- Dolores: I can't wait till next Thursday.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Today is Monday.
- Dolores: I know, but my headache should be gone by then.”
“- Butler: Can I get you anything more, doctor? I'm about to retire.
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Really? You seem so young.”
“- Olsen: Doctor, were you interested in science as a child?
- Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: I don't know if I was interested so much in the science as I was in the slime that goes along with it. Snakes and frogs. When I saw how slimy the human brain was, I knew that's what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.”