“- Ernest: This is great! This is just like that John Wayne movie when he and Sundance were in Bulgaria.
- Abner: Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute... they were killed in Bolivia.
- Ernest: Well, maybe they should've stayed in Bulgaria.”
Jim Varney - Ernest
Ron James - Abner

“John Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. All he wanted to do was go to the movies.”
John Cusack - Rob Gordon

“Everybody dies but us. We get to carry on and plan the sequel, 'cause, let's face it, baby, these days you gotta have a sequel.”
Matthew Lillard - Stuart

“People are fascinated with death and violence. That's why my films make money. They're an escape, a vicarious release of fear. Same thing with this game. Nobody takes my films or the dead pool seriously.”

Liam Neeson - Peter Swan

“Anyone including the main character can die. This means you, Syd. I'm sorry. It's the final chapter. It could be fucking 'Reservoir Dogs' by the time this thing is through.”

Jamie Kennedy - Randy Meeks