“- Max Bialystock: The two cardinal rules of producing. One: Never put your own money in the show.
- Leo Bloom: And two?
- Max Bialystock: Never put your own money in the show!”
Nathan Lane - Max Bialystock
Matthew Broderick - Leo Bloom

“- Dr. Fromberg: What was that film you were watching?
- Michael: Death, Death, Death...
- Dr. Fromberg: Death, Death, Death.
- Michael: ...Part 2.
- Dr. Fromberg: Oh, lord! Don't you see? Violence is not senseless entertainment!”
David Hemblen - Dr. Fromberg
Edward Furlong - Michael

“I like the idea you can have the entertainment and the political idea in there.”
James McTeigue

“Entertaining the rustics is not as difficult as I feared. Any simple, childish game seems to amuse them excessively.”

Frieda Inescort - Miss Bingley

“We will now present for your entertainment the most stupendous, magnificent, super-colossal spectacle! On this tiny, little, insignificant ball, we will construct for you a pyramid! Not of wood, not of stone... pyramid, of ponderous, pulsating, pulchritudinous pachyderms!”
Herman Bing - The Ringmaster