“- Dave: Moocher, you're Catholic, right?
- Moocher: Yeah.
- Dave: Did you ever go to confession?
- Moocher: Twice.
- Dave: Did it make you feel better?
- Moocher: Once.”
Dennis Christopher - Dave
Jackie Earle Haley - Moocher

“It is not going well! This is what comes of telling the truth, or even part of it. You know, getting what you deserve is totally unfair.”
Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter

“- Stretch: Your actual purpose is not as you believe to marry Labia, but to reveal your true homosexuality.
- Hercules: Homosexual?”
Des Mangan - Hercules

“- Jan: Everyone comes to see you ladies anyway.
- Missy Pantone: 'Cause we're such fine athletes.
- Jan: Oh, live with it! You'll be fighting off major oglers while we're defending our sexuality.”

Nathan West - Jan
Eliza Dushku - Missy Pantone

“- John Gray: I loved him.
- Robbie Ross: Well, now he's fallen in love.
- John Gray: I'm halfway to hellfire and I'm not joking.
- Robbie Ross: Someone else was a carpenter's son. I've given in and become a Catholic. I find confession wonderfully consoling.
- John Gray: I can't go to confession when I want to kill Bosie... and myself...”
Ioan Gruffudd - John Gray
Michael Sheen - Robbie Ross