“- Jack Lawrence: This kid is a major pain in the ass, he's so damn annoying.
- Carrie: You don't like anything that's annoying.
- Jack Lawrence: Who does?”
Billy Crystal - Jack Lawrence
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Carrie Lawrence

“- Vivian Perry: Listen, we got an emergency. three of the kids just run off.
- Joe Braxton: Great! Maybe the rest of them will run away.”
Cicely Tyson - Vivian Perry
Richard Pryor - Joe Braxton

“- Blunted: If this works... she won't bother me.
- Flint Sky: Your wife?
- Blunted: No, her mother. The old hag wants grandchildren.”

Jonathan Brewer - Blunted
Morris Birdyellowhead - Flint Sky

- Judge Cotton: Does this guy "Candy" Johnson bother you, my dear?
- Elizabeth Cotton: Not half as much as I bother him.
Frank Morgan - Judge Cotton
Lana Turner - Elizabeth Cotton

“The next time you do not want to see anybody, just let me know, and I'll usher them right in.”

Bette Davis - Maggie Cutler