Richard Pryor movie quotes

“I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking in my car driving ninety.”
Richard Pryor

“I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, 'I wanna grow up and be a critic'.”
Richard Pryor

“If black people did movies, my premise is that movies would be much shorter, because they wouldn't waste time with a lot of excess shit.”
Richard Pryor

“Oh, boy. Well, some of my patients prefer walking, some prefer bicycling. But for best results, to guarantee satisfaction, most of them like fucking. You know, poonta-poonta-poonta. I like it myself, you know. One in the morning, and late at night.”

Richard Pryor - Wally

“- Arlo Pear: Maybe we'll send you a plane ticket and you can visit us at Christmas.
- Frank Crawford: Good but I won't.”
Richard Pryor - Arlo Pear
Randy Quaid - Frank Crawford

“- George: Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck maybe somebody's mother...
- Eddie Dash: Would you knock it off with the web-footed friends shit?”
Gene Wilder - George
Richard Pryor - Eddie Dash

“I hear prison isn't so bad if you like it up the butt.”
Richard Pryor - Wally

- Skip Donahue: This filthy, roach-ridden reality is inspiring... what did that second policeman say to you when he grabbed you by the throat?
- Harry Monroe: "Man, I don't fucking believe you!".
- Skip Donahue: "Man, I don't fucking believe you!". Fabulous!
Gene Wilder - Skip Donahue
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“- Big Mean: What's the charge?
- Harry Monroe: Innocent.
- Big Mean: Ain't we all?”
Cedrick Hardman - Big Mean
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“Honey, our daughter's getting married, you wanna come?”

Richard Pryor - Arlo Pear

“- Jack Brown: What if I tell your father?
- Eric Bates: He won't care.
- Jack Brown: Your father doesn't care that his son is a quitter?
- Eric Bates: He doesn't care what I am, so long as I stay out of his way.”

Richard Pryor - Jack Brown
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates

“- Dave: You swear an awful lot.
- Wally: You're fucking-A right!”
Gene Wilder - Dave
Richard Pryor - Wally

“- Harry Monroe: Tell me about the job opportunity.
- Skip Donahue: It's in banking.
- Harry Monroe: I don't know a darn thing about banking.
- Skip Donahue: We don't have to know anything about banking. I've sold the manager on a new promotion idea.”
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe
Gene Wilder - Skip Donahue

“- Eric Bates: Come see my train!
- Jack Brown: You're not listening to me, Eric, you don't order your friends around, you ask them.
- Eric Bates: You wanna come see my train, friend?
- Jack Brown: No.”
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates
Richard Pryor - Jack Brown

“- Adele: Why do you feel you have to pass for someone with 20/20 vision when you're blind as a bat?
- Wally: I don't feel. I have to pass.
- Adele: Yes, you do. It's a sickness in your brain, just like if you were trying to pass for white.
- Wally: You mean I'm not white?”
Kirsten Childs - Adele
Richard Pryor - Wally

“- Nurse Maggie Lesser: Dr. Slattery.
- Dr. Eddie Slattery: Yes. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going to pee. I don't need a second opinion for that too. I know how to hold it and everything. Do I need a second opinion for that?
- Dr. Foster: No.”
Sylvia Miles - Nurse Maggie Lesser
Richard Pryor - Dr. Eddie Slattery

“When I take over your muthafucking job, know what I'm gonna do baby? Gonna get on my private jet and wing up to Palm Springs. Hang out with Eddie Knuckles, and hit a few golfballs with President Ford and Nixon and them muthafuckers.”
Richard Pryor - Zeke

“- Montgomery Brewster: Gentlemen, do you think I'm a lowlife?
- Tailor: Oh no, Mr. Brewster. Not with these clothes.”
Richard Pryor - Montgomery Brewster
Jeffrey Mylett - Tailor

Who are we gonna tell God? We are gonna say "Hey God! Life's unfair!". You know what He's gonna say "Tough Titties!".
Richard Pryor - Jack Brown

“- Big Mean: Short ass son of a bitch, ain't you?
- Harry Monroe: Oh, I'm a short son of a bitch. My father was a short son of a bitch too. My mother was shorter than him. And my brother was real short and we couldn't even see him. He was a short son of a bitch.”
Cedrick Hardman - Big Mean
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“- Zeke: Smoke, what if the motherfuckers don't wanna pay?
- Smokey: If they don't pay, then we're gonna cut them a new asshole.”

Richard Pryor - Zeke
Yaphet Kotto - Smokey

“- Skip Donahue: Did you sleep any better last night?
- Harry Monroe: No. I got a couple of winks between nightmares.”
Gene Wilder - Skip Donahue
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“A hundred and twenty five years... Oh God, Oh God... I'll be a hundred and sixty one when I get out.”

Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“- Jack Brown: Why me? Of all the stuff in the store, why did you pick me?
- Eric Bates: You made me laugh. I wanted a friend who made me laugh.
- Jack Brown: So of all the toys in the store you wanted a friend. If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.”

Richard Pryor - Jack Brown
Scott Schwartz - Eric Bates

“- Harry Monroe: That ain't oregano.
- Sissie: You put this in the veal?
- Cook's Helper: And the soup.
- Sissie: No!
- Cook's Helper: And the salad.
- Sissie: Lord have mercy! Grass!
- Harry Monroe: My grass. Jesus! You cooked half my stash!”
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe
Esther Sutherland - Sissie
Pamela Poitier - Cook's Helper