Richard Pryor quotes
“- Sugar Ray: I want somebody on him. Vera, do you have a girl?
- Vera: I've got a girl who's pussy is so good, if you threw it up in the air it would turn into sunshine.”
“I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking in my car driving ninety.”
“- Sugar Ray: Vera, you know we tally up at 4 o'clock. What is your problem?
- Vera: Kiss my ass, Sugar. I've got to watch my girls until the last trick is gone. And I'm not about to ask no customer to roll over so I can punch some goddamn clock. Now, this is your place, but I am in charge of the girls... and you can just kiss my ass.”
What are they gonna put on your tombstone? "Here lies a man, 27 years old. He died, but he ain't no punk." Hey man, that's bullshit. Ok? You know when you die? When you're 89... got your children and your grandchildren around the bed... that's cool. It ain't cool to die at 27.
“I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, 'I wanna grow up and be a critic'.”
“Oh, boy. Well, some of my patients prefer walking, some prefer bicycling. But for best results, to guarantee satisfaction, most of them like fucking. You know, poonta-poonta-poonta. I like it myself, you know. One in the morning, and late at night.”
“- Arlo Pear: Maybe we'll send you a plane ticket and you can visit us at Christmas.
- Frank Crawford: Good but I won't.”
“- George: Be kind to your web-footed friends, for a duck maybe somebody's mother...
- Eddie Dash: Would you knock it off with the web-footed friends shit?”
“- Big Mean: What's the charge?
- Harry Monroe: Innocent.
- Big Mean: Ain't we all?”
“Honey, our daughter's getting married, you wanna come?”
“- Jack Brown: What if I tell your father?
- Eric Bates: He won't care.
- Jack Brown: Your father doesn't care that his son is a quitter?
- Eric Bates: He doesn't care what I am, so long as I stay out of his way.”
“- Dave: You swear an awful lot.
- Wally: You're fucking-A right!”
“When I take over your muthafucking job, know what I'm gonna do baby? Gonna get on my private jet and wing up to Palm Springs. Hang out with Eddie Knuckles, and hit a few golfballs with President Ford and Nixon and them muthafuckers.”
“- Montgomery Brewster: Gentlemen, do you think I'm a lowlife?
- Tailor: Oh no, Mr. Brewster. Not with these clothes.”
Who are we gonna tell God? We are gonna say "Hey God! Life's unfair!". You know what He's gonna say "Tough Titties!".
“- Big Mean: Short ass son of a bitch, ain't you?
- Harry Monroe: Oh, I'm a short son of a bitch. My father was a short son of a bitch too. My mother was shorter than him. And my brother was real short and we couldn't even see him. He was a short son of a bitch.”