“Ugliest child I've ever seen!”

Leslie William Nielsen - Mr. Magoo

“Get back, you brain damaged bag of bones, or I'll have you gassed!”

Bette Midler - CC Bloom

“- Tyler Dayton: [back from the zoo] And then we went to see the gorillas and Mommy said it was you.
- Megan Dayton: I did not!
- Joe Dayton: Oh, really? Did you go to see the elephants?
- Megan Dayton: Watch it, Joe.”
Tyler Spitzer - Tyler Dayton
Bonnie Hunt - Megan Dayton
Jim Belushi - Joe Dayton

“- Anton, the stuck-up bully: How did that stupid mouse get in my sail?
- George Little: He's not a stupid mouse!
- Anton, the stuck-up bully: You're right; He's a stupid rat!”

Miles Marsico - Anton
Jonathan Lipnicki - George Little

“Ugly one-horned mule!”