“I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes: my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.”
Paul Rudd - Brian Fantana

“- Sara: Garbage Dick?
- Matt: Yeah. Oh, no, no. It's no big deal. I mean, that was at least a year or two ago, anyway.
- Sara: Wait, what does that mean?
- Matt: Ah, I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, everyone wears condoms these days, right?”

Laura Satzman - Sara
Paul Soter - Matt

“There's a name for you ladies, but it isn't used in high society... outside of a kennel.”
Joan Crawford - Crystal Allen

- Poppy: Is your name Chinese or English?
- "Mother" Gin Sling: Indeed Gin Sling is English. It's a nickname as common in this part of the world as the drink sold over the counter.
Gene Tierney - Poppy
Ona Munson - "Mother" Gin Sling

So they call me "Concentration Camp Ehrhardt"?

Jack Benny - Joseph Tura