“- Sammy Parker: My mom hates your dad.
- Maggie Taylor: So? My dad hates your mom.”
Alex D. Linz - Sammy Parker
Mae Whitman - Maggie Taylor

“- Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have? You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents!
- Clifford Daniels: Don't send me back to my parents, they hate me!
- Martin Daniels: Not as much as I do!”
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“- Nicole: You mad at him?
- Carlos: I hardly even think about him. I got plenty of parent in my mom.”

Kirsten Dunst - Nicole Oakley
Jay Hernandez - Carlos Nuñez

“You're going to have plenty of reasons to hate me. I'm going to show you cards and spades and lying for the next 50 years.”

Fredric March - Wally Cook

“Don't talk to me about the future. I hate the future, and I hate the past, and I hate the present. Especially you.”

Ray Walston - Poopdeck Pappy