“If you are a rich lady, and I have boned you...Please meet me at the Nacho Cart. If you are a rich lady, and would like to be boned...Please meet me at the Nacho Cart.”
Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“Let me tell you something about women, Wayne. They want you to come get them. They love it.”
Dana Carvey - Garth Algar

- Jean: I don't see why I have to do all the dirty work. There must be plenty of rich old dames just waiting for you to push them around.
- "Colonel" Harrington: You find them, I'll push them.
Barbara Stanwyck - Jean
Charles Coburn - "Colonel" Harrington

“- Quincy McCall: I took the hoe to Burger King.
- Monica Wright: Cheap date.”
Omar Epps - Quincy McCall
Sanaa Lathan - Monica Wright

“She wants a sensitive guy... more like the old me. Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, then I'm going to show her the biggest pussy she's ever seen.”
Ryan Reynolds - Chris Brander