“You know what your problem is? Your face. Come on, you're too good-looking. Girls go out with you and get nervous. They feel dumpy, they don't want to compete. They want a guy like... like me. A guy who'll make them look good. A basic Neanderthal type. The swarthy type. A man's man.”
Jim Belushi - Bernie

“I found the people at the Oscars singularly unattractive, didn't you? I noticed a general decline in facelifts and hair transplants. Must be the economy, don't you think?”
Maggie Smith - Diana Barrie

“- Sandra Roxbury: Hey! You know, that guy's kinda cute. He's got gorgeous eyes and a nice smile. Pretty intelligent too!
- Jennie Cooper: Yeah! And how about those buns?”
Wendy Schaal - Sandra Roxbury
Lisa Hartman - Jennie Cooper

“- Dottie: You... look crazy.
- Bianca Piper: Crazy amazing.”

Allison Janney - Dottie
Mae Whitman - Bianca Piper

“- Blind Al: Looks aren't everything.
- Deadpool: Looks are everything! Ever heard Dave Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method?”
Leslie Uggams - Blind Al
Ryan Reynolds - Deadpool