“If you guys ever thought about brightening this place up, like, you know, a few plants, some flowers, you'd attract a better class of criminal. And man, if I can say one other thing, the room service sucks, and so do some of the customers.”
Dennis Hopper - Huey Walker

“Don't let people lie to you: hostels are for the ugly.”

Kip Pardue - Victor

“- Richard Gecko: Well what do they got?
- Seth Gecko: They have four walls and a bed and that's all we need.”

Quentin Tarantino - Richard Gecko
George Clooney - Seth Gecko

“I dream of being in a Las Vegas hotel where all of the towels smell like Downy Fabric Softener.”
Cameron Diaz - Freddie Clayton

“If there's no room at the Hotel Genius, I'll take a room at the Hotel Imbecile.”
Roberto Benigni - Driver - Rome