“How come God hogs up all the good followers, and we're left with the retards?”

John Leguizamo - Clown

“- Jake Shuttlesworth: People make mistakes! People veer off the path! God forgives them!
- Jesus Shuttlesworth: Has God forgiven you for killing my mother?
- Jake Shuttlesworth: I pray that he has, Son. I believe he has. When will you?”
Denzel Washington - Jake Shuttlesworth
Ray Allen - Jesus Shuttlesworth

“God knows I made my share of mistakes. I've been trying to make them right ever since. All I can do is hope he sees fit to give me a second chance.”
Sam Elliott - Caretaker

- Huggy Bear: Someone once said: “to err is human, to forgive divine”.
- Ken Hutchinson: Tch. What idiot said that?
- Huggy Bear: I believe that was God, the greatest mack of all.
Snoop Dogg - Huggy Bear
Owen Wilson - Ken Hutchinson

“- Paddington: Is that you, God?
- Henry Brown: What?
- Paddington: It's just, you sounds a lot more like Mr. Brown that I imagined.
- Henry Brown: It is Mister Brown!”
Ben Whishaw - Paddington
Hugh Bonneville - Henry Brown