“- Cynthia Kruger: I just don't know if I can live with the green.
- Jean Michel Basquiat: You want me to make it a nice shit brown?
- Tom Kruger: I beg your pardon. Nobody makes fun of my wife but me.”

Tatum O'Neal - Cynthia Kruger
Jeffrey Wright - Jean Michel Basquiat
Chuck Pfeiffer - Tom Kruger

“- Rick Leland: You certainly are a girl of many colors. First, your legs get blue. Then, your face turns green. And, now, your red all over.
- Alberta Marlow: I never knew what suffering was until I came on this pleasure trip.”
Humphrey Bogart - Rick Leland
Mary Astor - Alberta Marlow

“- Zack: Were all pink on the inside...
- Vince: Like vaginas.”
Dane Cook - Zack
Dax Shepard - Vince

“Maybe we could paint the house with vanishing cream. Then it would be invisible.”
Steve Viksten - Oskar Kokoshka

“The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. It's a very patriotic bird.”
Chandler McIntyre - Naturalist