“Everybody dies but us. We get to carry on and plan the sequel, 'cause, let's face it, baby, these days you gotta have a sequel.”
Matthew Lillard - Stuart

“- TV Reporter at Premiere: What's your next project?
- Dalton Freed: Birth Of A Nation, an all-black version.”
Karen Duffy - TV Reporter at Premiere
Maurice Sonnenberg - Dalton Freed

“- Holly: Gerry, I don't want to go back to work. What should I do?
- Gerry: Quit. Stay here with me.
- Holly: I don't have a plan, Gerry.
- Gerry: That's okay, luv. Your plans never work out, anyway.”
Hilary Swank - Holly
Gerard Butler - Gerry

“- Daniel Kintner: The only reason we are out here in the first place is because of your fucking job!
- Susan Watkins: What?
- Daniel Kintner: If it were not for your job, we would not have thrown our plans out the window, rushed around at the last minute and settled on this fucking trip!”
Daniel Travis - Daniel Kintner
Blanchard Ryan - Susan Watkins

Survival rule number three, kid: you're not here to love anyone. You're here to promote a movie. That's it. Period. Say you're here and you get word that your mother died. You know, like, hit by a bus or something. You go downstairs, you shed a tear, and you say, "It's a shame. She would have loved this movie".
Billy Crystal - Lee Phillips