“- Jessie Bannister: Claudia, I... What are you doing?
- Claudia: Making a list of potential husbands. There are plenty of former suitors just waiting to sweep me off my feet.
- Jessie Bannister: Ranked in financial order?
- Claudia: One has to know what one is getting into.
- Jessie Bannister: What's the asterisk for?
- Claudia: Over eighty.”
Kirstie Alley - Jessie Bannister
Alison La Placa - Claudia

“Married, turned gay, married, in jail-malpractice, dead! I'm telling you good marriage material is getting tough to find!”

Alison La Placa - Claudia

“I believe that guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do.”
Larry the Cable Guy - Himself

“- Eliot Arnold: Do you think someone's trying to kill your husband?
- Anna Herk: God, I hope so!”
Tim Allen - Eliot Arnold
Rene Russo - Anna Herk

“It isn't like you burnt the toast, Mia. You murdered your husband!”

Sharon Stone - Nicole Horner