“Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again” quotes(2004)
“Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again” Quotes 21 quotes
“I believe, that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.”
My wife and I, we love watching Dateline, those shows where every week they will feature a disease. I swear to you, every week, no matter what the disease is, my wife has it. There could be three people on the planet that have this disease, my wife is one of them. She just watches it going "I've got it."
“Women are details. If you don't got the details, do not talk to a woman.”
“The first time my wife and I made love... you ever heard of those screamers? Well, apparently she had never been with one before!”
I think the biggest difference between men and women is that men are basic. Just basic. There's not a whole lot of frills. That's why, ladies, when you ask a fella a question, the answer you get is, "I don't know." Basic.
“I believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can not baptize cats.”
Joey says to me, "Hey, man. I'm getting a divorce" and I said, "Oh, that sucks". That was our whole conversation. I understood it, he understood it. So I go home and I tell my wife. "Oh my god! What happenned?" "Was he cheating on her? Was she cheating on him?". I said, "Again, baby, I don't know. You got a better chance of getting answer out of... (continue)(continue reading)
“Her father dies, and I'm like, baby come on we're going to the nursing home. And she see's all these old men like pick me pick me. She wanted a black one, but I was like keep it simple, that's my motto.”
“You see, ladies, men have three basic needs in life: eating, sleeping, sex. That's our whole day. I can do all three of those in my truck. By myself. In traffic!”
“I believe the only thing worse than having diarrhea is trying to have it quietly in a public bathroom.”