“Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo” quotes

Movie Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Title Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Year 1999
Director Mike Mitchell
Genre Comedy, Romance
Plot – The only desire of aquarium cleaner Deuce Bigalow, a simple man who likes his job, is to move to the ocean to live closer to his fish “friends”. One day he receives a call from the charming Antoine Laconte, a world class gigolo, who asks him to take care of his precious fish Leone. Bigalow is also to look after Laconte's apartment on the sole condition of not answering the phone nor driving the Porche, but he accidentally destroys the apartment, including the precious aquarium, and he answers the phone, opening him up to a gigolo career beyond his wildest dreams.
All actors – Rob Schneider, William Forsythe, Eddie Griffin, Arija Bareikis, Oded Fehr, Gail O'Grady, Richard Riehle, Jacqueline Obradors, Big Boy, Amy Poehler, Dina Platias, Torsten Voges
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  • “Most women are as unhappy with their entire body as you are with your small penis.”
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
  • “I have narcolepsy. It's a sleeping disorder. It isn't the worst thing you could ever have. I'm just not allowed to fly in a plane or drive a car or work in a gun range.”
    Deborah Lemen - Carol
  • “- Kate: I just don't think it's natural. You're not supposed to go up there. To tell you the truth, I don't know how men do it either.
    - Deuce Bigalow: You're not curious, just to try something new?
    - Kate: I'm just not into it.
    - Deuce Bigalow: So space exploration is definitely out for you?
    - Kate: Definitely. I mean, more power to any woman...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Arija Bareikis - Kate
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
    [Tag:curiosity, space]
  • “- T.J. Hicks: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
    - Deuce Bigalow: Where?
    - T.J. Hicks: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
    - Deuce Bigalow: Man-whoring?
    - T.J. Hicks: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.”

    Eddie Griffin - T.J. Hicks
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
  • “- Bob Bigalow: Your mom could've had any man she wanted in that strip club. And this being my first time in Bangkok, I was looking for a good time myself.
    - Deuce Bigalow: You met my mom where?”

    Richard Riehle - Bob Bigalow
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
    [Tag:meeting, mother]
  • “- Antoine Laconte: Women pay me to... give them pleasure.
    - Deuce Bigalow: How did you get that job?
    - Antoine Laconte: I just sort of fell into it.
    - Deuce Bigalow: I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor!”

    Oded Fehr - Antoine Laconte
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
    [Tag:job, prostitution]
  • “- Detective Chuck Fowler: You know anything about this? [unzips his pants] Look. See that red spot over there? That wasn't there this morning. I checked. You know what it is?
    - Deuce Bigalow: Maybe it's a rash. Something you got from jogging. How the hell do I know? Get it away from me.”

    William Forsythe - Detective Chuck Fowler
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
  • “He made me realize that I wasn't just some hot babe with huge tits, even though I am.”
    Big Boy - Fluisa
  • “Women are worried about their height, their weight, their giant feet, the stream of obscenities that could burst through their mouth at any second. If you make a woman feel good about herself, it really doesn't matter what's wrong with you.”
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
  • “- Deuce Bigalow: I'm gonna get the rest of the money the old-fashioned way.
    - T.J. Hicks: You gonna steal it?”

    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
    Eddie Griffin - T.J. Hicks
    [Tag:money, theft]
  • “- Antoine Laconte: Medieval weapons. I'm a collector. They're worth twice as much if they've killed somebody.
    - Deuce Bigalow: I collect Canadian quarters. I've got about six of 'em.”

    Oded Fehr - Antoine Laconte
    Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
    [Tag:money, weapons]
  • “You know, Antoine's got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up with my anus.”
    Eddie Griffin - T.J. Hicks