“- Bilko: Maybe, a plan is not what I really need. what I really need... is just a little puppy. A little puppy with big brown eyes, who would just come to me and lick my face, and just love me so much no matter what kind of person I am.”

Steve Martin - Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko

“- Hallie: He said he'll meet us tomorrow at noon at the Four Seasons in San Francisco.
- Elizabeth: Tomorrow? My, my that's incredibly soon, isn't it? Well, honey, why don't you run downstairs and gather our tickets from your Grandfather while I finish up here?”

Lindsay Lohan - Hallie Parker
Natasha Richardson - Elizabeth James

“- Topper Harley: Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you. I want to meet your parents and pet your dog...
- Ramada Rodham Hayman: My parents are dead, Topper. My dog ate them.”
Charlie Sheen - Topper Harley
Valeria Golino - Ramada Rodham Hayman

“I'm a busy girl. I've got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride's fella, and I haven't one clue how to do it.”
Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter

“I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition.”
Steve Martin - George Banks