“- Even Bigger Black Guy: I mean you beatin' 10 cops? You putting a man in the hospital? How come I don't see no bruises on you?
- Big Black Guy: Yeah!
- Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause I'm a karate man! And a karate man bruises are on the inside! They don't show their weakness.”
James D. Turner - Even Bigger Black Guy
Ron Taylor - Big Black Guy
Eddie Murphy - Billy Ray Valentine

“- Jim Levenstein: Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches.
- Stifler: Cause he fuckin' bit me!
- Finch: You touch me, I bite.”

Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Seann William Scott - Stifler
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Finch

“- Mr. Darcy: [getting dressed after the inspection] How are you able to discern that the wound from my rib was from fencing?
- Priest: I've been at this a long time, my son.
- Mr. Darcy: [skeptical, as he walks away] I have no wound.”
Sam Riley - Colonel Fitzwilliam Darcy
Jonathan Oliver - Priest

“- Julius Levinson: You punched the President?
- David Levinson: He wasn't the President yet!”
Judd Hirsch - Julius Levinson
Jeff Goldblum - David Levinson

“- Andrew Nivens: I can't believe you shot me.
- Sam Nivens: Well, what would you have done?
- Andrew Nivens: Oh, I'd have shot you, of course.”
Donald Sutherland - Andrew Nivens
Eric Thal - Sam Nivens