“- Jack Slater: My hand. It really hurts.
- Danny Madigan: Things work different here. You can't smash a car window with your bare hand and not have it hurt.
- Jack Slater: Thanks for sharing. Couldn't you have told me this earlier?”

Arnold Schwarzenegger - Jack Slater
Austin O'Brien - Danny Madigan

“I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichés. But what I will say is this: it's not the end of the world.”
Nick Frost - Ed

“- Marquis Robert de la Cheyniest: Corneille! Put an end to this farce!
- Corneille, le majordome: Which one, Your Lordship?”
Marcel Dalio - Marquis Robert de la Cheyniest
Eddy Debray - Corneille, le majordome

“- Clifford Muckle - Boy in Bank: Mommy, doesn't that man have a funny nose?
- Mrs. Muckle - Mother in Bank: You mustn't make fun of the gentleman, Clifford. You'd like to have a nose like that full of nickels, wouldn't you?”

Bobby Larson - Clifford Muckle - Boy in Bank
Jan Duggan - Mrs. Muckle - Mother in Bank

- Michael "Mike" Ward: What's the use of talking to you? You think everything's a joke.
- Martin: It is. If it weren't, life wouldn't be worth living.
John McGuire - Michael "Mike" Ward
Cliff Clark - Martin