“We need a guy with a fabulous ass! And mine is the wrong color!”
Steve Martin - Bowfinger

“- Maj. Gen. Joseph W. Stilwell: What was that?
- Pvt. DuBois: Appears to be a large Negro, sir.”

Robert Stack - Maj. Gen. Joseph W. Stilwell
J. Patrick McNamara - Pvt. DuBois

“- Stefan Vanderhoof: They had the same prance, the same rhythm, it was like they were two members of the same body.
- Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?”

Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof
John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan

“- Police Inspector: You idiot... that's a man!
- Labisse: That's not possible.
- Police Inspector: Oh yeah? Well when I walked in, the person in that room was naked from the waist down, and if that was a woman, then she was wearing the greatest disguise that I have ever seen.”

Geoffrey Beevers - Police Inspector
Peter Arne - Labisse

“Nipples like bone buttons. An instep like a half open book. A navel like the inside of a shell. A belly like an upturned saucer. A penis like a sea slug or a pickled cucumber.”
Vivian Wu - Nagiko