“Best in Show” quotes

Movie Best in Show
Title Best in Show
Year 2000
Director Christopher Guest
Genre Comedy
Plot – A number of people living in various States answer the questions of an interviewer. They are Harlan, owner of a fishing shop; the Swan couple; Gerry, a traveling salesman who has two left feet and his wife Cookie, a former waitress with a lively past; a gay couple that is always bubbly; a blonde with a quiet, very old husband and a girl who follows her closely. What these people have in common is the fact that all of them speak about their dogs and they are all going to New York to the Mayflower Dog Show, the most important canine competition of the year. Once there, one goes to the hotel and remains in his room because of the excessive excitement; another speaks in the hall; another sits on the stands and yet another one thinks there is always something missing. Excitement is in the air when the show starts, commented on by a television speaker that says he knows nothing about the subject and makes nonsensical comments, together with a so-called 'expert'.
All actors – Jay Brazeau, Parker Posey, Michael Hitchcock, Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Carrie Aizley, Lewis Arquette, Dany Canino, Bob Balaban, Will Sasso, Stephen E. Miller, Christopher Guest
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  • “Don't look him in the eye! It challenges him! He doesn't like that!”

    Linda Kash - Fay Berman
    [Tag:challenge, eyes, son]
  • “Don't water the plants, they're plastic!”
    Eugene Levy - Gerry Fleck
  • - Scott Donlan: Where are you from, like Nor... Norland? Norway?
    - Hotel Manager: Uh, I'm Irish-German.
    - Stefan Vanderhoof: Like Robert Duvall in "The Godfather".
    - Scott Donlan: Bratwurst and shillelaghs... paging Dr. Freud.

    John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan
    Ed Begley Jr. - Hotel Manager
    Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof
    [Tag:actors, nation]
  • We started this magazine, "American Bitch". It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.
    Jane Lynch - Christy Cummings
  • “- Hamilton Swan: I remember what I was drinking when I met you. It was a grande espresso.
    - Meg Swan: That's right. And I thought that was really sexy.”

    Michael Hitchcock - Hamilton Swan
    Parker Posey - Meg Swan
  • “- Stefan Vanderhoof: They had the same prance, the same rhythm, it was like they were two members of the same body.
    - Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?”

    Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof
    John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan
  • People say "oh but he's so much older than you" and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking.

    Jennifer Coolidge - Sherri Ann Cabot
    [Tag:husband, love, old age]
  • “I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb, I shit you not, you little freak! Now, will you get down here? I'm gonna punch you in the eye till it turns to jelly! I'll stab you with forks till you bleed, how bout that?”

    Larry Miller - Max Berman
    [Tag:anger, son, threat]
  • “We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.”
    Parker Posey - Meg Swan
    [Tag:meeting, seeing]
  • “- Gerry Fleck: I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet!
    - Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding.
    - Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet.”

    Eugene Levy - Gerry Fleck
    Catherine O'Hara - Cookie Fleck
  • “- Malcolm: I've banged a lot of waitresses in my day, but you, you, you were the best.
    - Cookie Fleck: You don't forget the best.”

    Malcolm Stewart - Malcolm
    Catherine O'Hara - Cookie Fleck
  • “- Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends.
    - Cookie Fleck: Hundreds.
    - Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?
    - Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.
    - Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that! Not that... not that I didn't have quite the reputation myself. I was known by, you know, some, to be quite the Casanova.”

    Eugene Levy - Gerry Fleck
    Catherine O'Hara - Cookie Fleck
  • “- Hotel Manager: Have you tried looking under the bed?
    - Meg Swan: Of course I've looked under the bed, of course I've looked under the bed. That's where you look when you lose things.”

    Ed Begley Jr. - Hotel Manager
    Parker Posey - Meg Swan
  • “- Buck Laughlin: Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?
    - Leslie's Nurse: Uh, no.
    - Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical!”

    Fred Willard - Buck Laughlin
    Jay-Lyn Green - Leslie's Nurse