Michael McKean quotes
“- State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
- Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
- State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
- Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Johnny 5: Am not human, but am a life-form, have soul. But him me killed to try.
- Fred Ritter: Hey wait a minute J5, what do you think you're gonna do?
- Johnny 5: Pursue! Capture! Incarcerate!”
“- Wadsworth: And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C.
- Mr. Green: Is that what we ate?”
- Scott Donlan: Where are you from, like Nor... Norland? Norway?
- Hotel Manager: Uh, I'm Irish-German.
- Stefan Vanderhoof: Like Robert Duvall in "The Godfather".
- Scott Donlan: Bratwurst and shillelaghs... paging Dr. Freud.
- Nick Chapman: What is it?
- Emmet Sumner: It's this stupid movie. It's called "Coffins from Hell".
- Nick Chapman: What is it about?
- Emmet Sumner: Coffins from hell.
“I write with everybody.”
“Even when there are banalities, they're usually kind of benign banalities.”
“- Fred Ritter: I thought you said this thing mis-functioned on you.
- Ben Jahveri: Oh, that is a falsity. What actually happened was we were working on him one day and suddenly he is struck by lightning. And, from this moment on, he's having a mind of his own. So, the government tried to destroy him so he ran away. So, now he's living with my...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Colonel Mustard: Why are you screaming?
- Mr. Green: Because I'm frightened!
- Colonel Mustard: Of what?
- Mr. Green: Screaming!”
“- Mrs. Tingle: You've been sober, how long is it now?
- Principal Potter: Four years.
- Mrs. Tingle: There! I knew it was this week. Me and dates, you know, that's the curse of being a history teacher. Well congratulations, that's quite an accomplishment. Just think, not one sip of alcohol in over four years, that's almost... unbelievable.”
- Johnny 5: Frederick, I have an important question. Why do humans not like me, call me "craphead"?
- Fred Ritter: They like you. They like you. Craphead is a compliment.
- Johnny 5: Oh...
“- Fred Ritter: You're not in top form, and your backup battery is all used up!
- Johnny 5: I'm okay-kay, just a few biddly-biddly Bugs Bunny to work out in out in! Perfectly functionality, functionality!
- Fred Ritter: Oh yeah sure, listen to yourself, you can't even talk straight!
- Johnny 5: Derf, a life-form's gotta do what a life-form's...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Principal Potter: I was thinking...
- Mrs. Tingle: No, don't do that, Mr. Potter. We still prefer that bristling wind effect you have on us.”
“- Chief of Police: This videotape will show what he did after he left the game.
- Nicky: [on the news videotape which is actually 'Scarface'] Say hello to my little friend! My name is Nicky, and I'm gonna kill all you fuckers for no reason!
- Nicky: That's not me; that's the cock-a-roach Tony Montana!
- Chief of Police: It's difficult to watch,...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Fred Ritter: Jesus!
- Johnny 5: Christ, lived from 1 to 33 AD.”
“- Judy Randall: Why are you always in black?
- Peter Randall: Because it matches my soul.”