“- Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
- Tallahassee: I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
- Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?”
Abigail Breslin - Little Rock
Woody Harrelson - Tallahassee

“[Over P.A] Welcome to High School Hell. I'm your host, Boris Karloff, Jr. Ha ha ha ha ha!”
Omri Katz - Max

“- Daisy Werthan: It's 7:16!
- Boolie Werthan: You should have a job on the radio announcing the time.”
Jessica Tandy - Daisy Werthan
Dan Aykroyd - Boolie Werthan

“- Pearl Antoine: Yeah, that's what I need, a good job. You wanna know what my favorite job would be, of all time? To be the radio talk lady, Dr Nancy Love. Ever listen to her?
- Mickey: I don't listen to radio talk.”
Rae Dawn Chong - Pearl Antoine
Keith Carradine - Mickey

“- Talk ShowHost: All right, this is Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Sexually Speaking. Hello, you are on the air.
- Edgar: Hi. It's me again.
- Talk ShowHost: Oh, hello Me! I was wondering if you would call. What's on your mind?
- Edgar: Well, Doctor, it's really the same question: I want to know what love is.”
Ruth Westheimer - Talk Show Host
Bud Cort - Edgar