“Are you now, or have you ever been a homosexual?”
Michael Bates - Chief Guard

“Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!”
Rupert Everett - George Downes

“- Alex: So, ladies, I kind of need to use the televis...
- Grace: Shh! Go read your Playgirl or something!”
Allen Covert - Alex
Shirley Jones - Grace

“Mmmm… lesbians,yummy!”
Walter Matthau - Max Goldman

“- Vaughan Cunningham: Homosexual. I like men sexually.
- Karl: Not funny ha-ha, funnyqueer.
- Vaughan Cunningham: Well that's a very offensive way to put it.”
John Ritter - Vaughan Cunningham
Billy Bob Thornton - Karl Childers