“- Danny Muldoon: I suppose you're proud of yourself.
- Rose Muldoon: Just telling it like it is.
- Danny Muldoon: That's been your excuse for the last 67 years.
- Rose Muldoon: My excuse?
- Danny Muldoon: Your excuse for hurting people whenever the hell you feel like it!”
John Candy - Danny Muldoon
Maureen O'Hara - Rose Muldoon

“- Senator John McGlory: I always thought you were just really good at your job. But you really are an asshole, aren't you?
- Nick: They go hand in hand, Senator.”
Jay O. Sanders - Senator John McGlory
Denis Colin Leary - Nick

“- James Ubriacco: Honey, this isn't me. I wanna be myself.
- Mollie Ubriacco: Okay, you're not gonna get this job if you're yourself.”

John Travolta - James
Kirstie Alley - Mollie Ubriacco

“My job requires a certain moral flexibility.”

Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor

“Psychiatrist by day, party animal by night.”

Leah Cairns - Sara Pollard