“- Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
- Jim Levenstein: Thanks, Dad.
- Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.”
Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“Valium, prozac, and ritalin. Breakfast of champions.”
Christopher Lambert - Lou

“I noticed the other morning you didn't order any breakfast. I wasn't sure if that was because you weren't a breakfast eater... or becuase you thought I was gonna kill you.”

Christian Slater - Lewis Farrell

“They're Brazillionaires, they have breakfast at 2pm in the afternoon.”
Chevy Chase - Chris Thorne

“It's really amazing, you know, no matter how little milk you pour on the bowl, there's always some left at the end, so you have to pour more cereal or slurp the milk like you're some kind of a dog, I won't take it, I'd rather be dead!”

Steve Oedekerk - Thane Furrows