“- Seth Gecko: What are you, Jacob? A faithless preacher? Or a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?
- Jacob Fuller: I'm a mean, mhm mhm servant of God.”
George Clooney - Seth Gecko
Harvey Keitel - Jacob Fuller

“- Matt: Isn't part of the priestly thing giving relationship advice?
- John: Relationship advice, yes - sex advice, no. Part of the priestly thing is not to have sex, remember?
- Matt: It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing, at least for some.”
Josh Hartnett - Matt
Adam Trese - John

You think all Buddhist monks are like the Dalai Lama? There are guys in Nepal who are like, "What should I do? Should I carry packs of heavy shit for Westerners up to the top of the base camp on Mt. Everest, or should I stay down here in Katmandu and maybe just chant all day and check out chicks and pretend to be holy?".
Donal Logue - Dex

“- Jessica: I should have made love to you when I had the chance.
- Billy: Father Mulcahy?”

Rob Schneider - Jessica
Matthew Lawrence - Billy

“- Kate Linville Holroyd: I can't believe I called the high priest a cocksucker.
- Harvey Holroyd: I thought you were terrific.”
Tuesday Weld - Kate
Martin Mull - Harvey