Martin Mull quotes
“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.”
“- Bill: Thank you for inviting me to participate in your life, for I am an asshole. And being an asshole is neither good nor bad. It just is.
- Reverend Spike: I think that says it all.
- Harvey Holroyd: These are exciting times, aren't they? Gas is over a dollar a gallon and it's okay to be an asshole.”
- Colonel Mustard: Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?
- Wadsworth: Um... no.
- Colonel Mustard: Then there is someone else in this house?
- Wadsworth: Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes".
- Colonel Mustard: "No" meaning "yes"? Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no?
-... (continue)(continue reading)
“- Harvey Holroyd: I came as fast as I could, Kate.
- Kate Linville Holroyd: Well, you're a little hard to reach these days. I guess driving your little friend to girl scout meetings takes up a lot of your time.
- Harvey Holroyd: Kate, you still get being liberated mixed up with being a bitch.”
“Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.”
“- Harvey Holroyd: I just want to find out where she is.
- Dr. Leonard Miller: Hey, Harv, that's her space.
- Harvey Holroyd: Right. And what's the address of her space?”
- Colonel Mustard: I prefer Kipling myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male". Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
- Miss Scarlet: Sure, I'll eat anything.
“- Wadsworth: I suggest we take the cook's body into the study.
- Colonel Mustard: Why?
- Wadsworth: I'm the butler, I like to keep the kitchen tidy.”
“- Colonel Mustard: Why are you screaming?
- Mr. Green: Because I'm frightened!
- Colonel Mustard: Of what?
- Mr. Green: Screaming!”
“- Kate Linville Holroyd: I can't believe I called the high priest a cocksucker.
- Harvey Holroyd: I thought you were terrific.”
“Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
“Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.”
“- Marlene: How about if I just go home with you and we go to bed together?
- Harvey Holroyd: We could do that. Sure.”
“- Harvey Holroyd: You know Kate, and the way she feels about polluting the atmosphere.
- Sam Stone: What has the atmosphere ever done for you?
- Harvey Holroyd: Not much lately.
- Sam Stone: You know, Angela's on that ecology committee, too. Big deal. Last month they saved the condor. You ever see a condor?
- Harvey Holroyd: Not up close.
- Sam...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Joanie Holroyd: I've got to hand it to you guys, you're weird, but you've got balls.
- Harvey Holroyd: Thank you Joanie, but watch your language, okay? They don't talk that way in Denver.
- Kate Linville Holroyd: Denver, that's near Aspen.
- Harvey Holroyd: Yeah.
- Kate Linville Holroyd: Isn't that where they have the Institute for Humanistic...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Kate Linville Holroyd: Ginger Gallagher has a lot of experience with this. Her cousin lost two kids to the Hare Krishnas, and one was clubbed to death by a baby seal hunter.
- Harvey Holroyd: What ever happened to running away and joining the circus?
- Kate Linville Holroyd: You know, they say this group finds kids who are alienated, and love...” (continue)(continue reading)
“This is war, Peacock. Casualties are inevitable. You can not make an omelet without breaking eggs, every cook will tell you that.”