“- Major Tom Baxter: I thought you weren't ready to kill.
- General Francis X. Hummel: I'm warmin' up.”
David Morse - Major Tom Baxter
Ed Harris

“- Charlotte Taylor Wilson: You don't really believe the people are happy!
- Don Diego Vega: All I know is the soldiers are quite happy shooting the people who say the people are not happy.”

Lauren Hutton - Charlotte Taylor Wilson
George Hamilton - Don Diego Vega

“- Exercise Instructress: Let's begin with posture. A lady always enters a room erect.
- Mrs. Howard Fowler - Sylvia: Most of my friends exit horizontally.”
Ann Morriss - Exercise Instructress
Rosalind Russell - Mrs. Howard Fowler - Sylvia

“- Secretary: Mr. Melborne, what are you doing down there?
- Melborne: Having a private heart attack!”

Allan Cuthbertson - Melborne

“- Sam: I had two heart attacks before I got the bicycle.
- Sandy Bates: And since then?
- Sam: I also had two.”
J.E. Beaucaire - Sam
Woody Allen - Sandy Bates