“Stardust Memories” quotes

Movie Stardust Memories
Woody Allen directed this movie in 1980
Title Stardust Memories
Year 1980
Director Woody Allen
Genre Drama, Comedy
Plot – Acclaimed director-actor Sandy Bates spends a weekend at the Stardust Hotel to take part to a seminar where one of his film is projected. Bates has to talk with the public, with journalists and movie fans too, but he is depressed because of the fierce critics. He has to deal with some women he knows very well too: Dorrie, an elegant but hypersensitive and neurotic actress of his past, and Isobel, a French actress who's divorcing her husband and would like to move in with Sandy.
All actors – Woody Allen, Charlotte Rampling, Jessica Harper, Marie-Christine Barrault, Tony Roberts, Daniel Stern, Amy Wright, Helen Hanft, John Rothman, Anne De Salvo, Joan Neuman, Ken Chapin, Leonardo Cimino, Eli Mintz, Bob Maroff, Gabrielle Strasun, David Lipman, Robert Munk, J.E. Beaucaire, Sharon Stone, Andy Albeck, Robert Friedman, Douglas Ireland, Jack Rollins, Howard Kissel, Max Leavitt, Renée Lippin, Sol Lomita, Irving Metzman, Dorothy Leon, Roy Brocksmith, Simon Newey, Victoria Zussin, Frances Pole, Bill Anthony, Filomena Spagnuolo, Ruth Rugoff, Martha Whitehead, Judith Roberts, Barry Weiss, Robin Ruinsky, Adrian Richards, Dominick Petrolino, Sharon Brous, Michael Zannella, Doris Dugan Slater, Michael Gorrin, Neil Napolitan, Stanley Ackerman, Noel Behn, Candy Loving, Denice Danon, Sally Demay, Tom Dennis, Edward S. Kotkin, Laura Delano, Lisa Friedman, Brent Spiner, Gardenia Cole, Maurice Shrog, Larry Robert Carr, Brian Zoldessy, Melissa Slade, Paula Raflo, Jordan Derwin, Tony Azito, Marc Murray, Helen Hale, Carl Don, Victoria Page, Bert Michaels, Deborah Johnson, Benjamin Rayson, Mary Mims, Charles Lowe, Marie Lane, Gustave Tassell, Marina Schiano, Dimitri Vassilopoulos, Judith Crist, Carmen Mastren, Sylvia Davis, Joseph Summo, Victor Truro, Irwin Keyes, Bonnie Hellman, Patrick Daly, Joe Pagano, Wayne Maxwell, Ann Freeman, Bob Miranti, Cynthia Gibb, Manuella Machado, Judith Cohen, Madeline Moroff, Maureen P. Levins, E. Brian Dean, Marvin Peisner, Robert Tennenhouse, Leslie Smith, Samuel Chodorov, Philip Lenkowsky, Vanina Holasek, Michel Touchard, Kenny Vance, Iryn Steinfink, Frank Modell, Annie Korzen, Eric Van Valkenburg, Susan Ginsburg, Ostaro, Wade Barnes, Gabriel Barre, Charles Riggs III, Geoffrey Riggs, Martha Sherrill, Ann Risley, Jade Bari, Marc Geller, Daniel H. Friedman, James Otis, Judy Goldner, Rebecca Wright, Perry Gewirtz, Larry Fishman, Liz Albrecht, Sloane Bosniak, James Harter, Henry House, Largo Woodruff, Jerry Tov Greenberg, Mohammid Nabi Kiani, Alice Spivak, Armin Shimerman, Edith Grossman, Jacqueline French, John Doumanian, Jack Hollander, , Alan Austin, Kimberly Dorsey, Steven Lance, Louise Lasser, Laraine Newman, Ellen Whyte, William Zinsser
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  • “- Vivian Orkin: This is my friend Libby. She thinks you're a genius. Libby just did a definitive cinematic study of Gummo Marx. She did!
    - Dick Lobel: Interestingly, he's the one Marx brother that never made any movies.”

    Helen Hanft - Vivian Orkin
    Roy Brocksmith - Dick Lobel
    [Tag:comedy, movie]
  • “- Sandy's Sister: Mom's blind in one eye, deaf in one ear.
    - Sandy Bates: Oh. I hope the same side of the head, right? Because that's important. So she's even. She should be even at that age.”

    Anne De Salvo - Sandy's Sister
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “- Question Askers-Screening: A lot of people have accused you of being narcissistic.
    - Sandy Bates: No, I know. People think that I'm egotistical and narcissistic, but it's not true. I... As a matter of fact, if I did identify with a Greek mythological character, it would not be Narcissus.
    - Question Askers-Screening: Who would it be?
    - Sandy...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Robin Ruinsky - Question Askers-Screening
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “- Sam: I had two heart attacks before I got the bicycle.
    - Sandy Bates: And since then?
    - Sam: I also had two.”

    J.E. Beaucaire - Sam
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition.”
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “We were just sort of sitting around and I put on a record of Louie Armstrong which was music I grew up with and it was very, very pretty, and I happened to glance over and I saw Dorrie sitting there. And I remember thinking to myself how terrific she was and how much I loved her. And I don't know, I guess it was a combination of everything, the...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “In my family nobody ever committed suicide, nobody... this was just not a middle-class alternative, you know? My mother was too busy running the boiled chicken through the deflavorizing machine to think about shooting herself or anything.”
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
    [Tag:class, suicide]
  • - Jack: What is it the comedian says when his jokes are going well? "I murdered that audience", "I killed 'em". "They screamed", "I broke 'em up".
    - Sandy Bates: Yeah. So, what are you saying? Are you saying that someone like myself or Laurel and Hardy or Bob Hope are furious?
    - Jack: Furious or latent homosexual.

    John Rothman - Jack Abel
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “- UFO Follower: What have you got against intellectuals?
    - Sandy Bates: Intellectuals? Nothing, why?
    - UFO Follower: Mr. Bates, I've seen all your films. You really feel threatened by them.
    - Sandy Bates: Threatened? You're kidding me. I've always said they're like the mafia. They only kill their own.”

    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • - Fan: My mother buys meat in the same butchershop your mother does.
    - Sandy Bates: Oh, great.
    - Fan: Can I have your autograph?
    - Sandy Bates: Oh, jeez.
    - Fan: Could you just write "To Phyllis Weinstein, you unfaithful, lying bitch"?

    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
    [Tag:insult, request]
  • “- Young Girl: I understand you studied philosophy at school.
    - Sandy Bates: Uh, no, that's not true. I did take - I took one course in existential philosophy at, uh... at New York University, and on the final... they gave me ten questions, and I couldn't answer a single one of 'em. You know? I left 'em all blank... I got a hundred.”

    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “- Fan in Lobby: Can I talk to you about an idea for a film I have?
    - Sandy Bates: This is not the place.
    - Fan in Lobby: Do you have a moment, please? It's a comedy based on that whole Guyana mass suicide.”

    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
    [Tag:comedy, tragedy]
  • - Sandy Bates: I gotta give my one classical-music joke which I put in every single picture and I invariably cut it out.
    - Daisy: Yeah?
    - Sandy Bates: Um, uh... "I don't know much about classic music. For years I thought the Goldberg Variations were something Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg tried on their wedding night".

    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
    Jessica Harper - Daisy
    [Tag:joke, music]
  • “- Vivian Orkin: In this film, he played the part of God.
    - Ghost of Sandy Bates: This was not easy, folks, because, uh, you know, I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and I don't have a good voice for God.
    - Vivian Orkin: And he received an Academy Award for his convincing portrayal of God... although they had to use another actor's voice.”

    Helen Hanft - Vivian Orkin
    Woody Allen - Ghost of Sandy Bates
    [Tag:ability, acting, voice]
  • “- Sandy Bates: What is this? The-the traditional brownies with hash? Is this what you're giving me?
    - Shelley: No, no. Look, here's the hash on the side because I didn't know how much you took.
    - Sandy Bates: How much I took? What is it, hollandaise sauce? What do you mean, how much I took?”

    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “- Sandy Bates: Shouldn't I stop making movies and do something that counts, like helping blind people or becoming a missionary or something?
    - Voice of Martian: Let me tell you, you're not the missionary type. You'd never last. And incidentally, you're also not Superman; you're a comedian. You want to do mankind a real service? Tell funnier jokes.”

    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
    Woody Allen - Martian
  • “- Dorrie: You smell nice.
    - Sandy Bates: Yeah?
    - Dorrie: That aftershave. It just made my whole childhood come back with a sudden Proustian rush.
    - Sandy Bates: Yeah? That's 'cause I'm wearing Proustian Rush by Chanel. It's reduced. I got a vat of it.”

    Charlotte Rampling - Dorrie
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “I've had six chauffeurs in two years. You get me drunks, guys who can't understand English, one guy ran over an old lady with me in the car and now this guy's wanted for mail fraud.”
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
    [Tag:crime, driving]
  • “It's crazy. The town is jammed. I don't know, is the Pope in town, or some other show business figure?”
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates
  • “You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.”
    Woody Allen - Sandy Bates