“- Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: I'm sick and I'm in love.
- Thurston Howell: You seem the sort of person who confuses the two.
- Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: That's right. That's the first time you've been right. I confuse the two and I don't care.”
William H. Macy - Quiz Kid Donnie Smith
Henry Gibson - Thurston Howell

“Since we have been together I have felt more uncomfortable, out of place, embarassed, and just physically sick then I have in my entire life. But I could not have gone through that, I could not have thrown up 19 times in 48 days if I was not in love with you.”
Ben Stiller - Reuben Feffer

“What do you know about love? What could you possibly know about love You know, I'm sick and tired of men using love as if it's some disease you just catch. Love should have brought your ass home last night.”
Halle Berry - Angela

“You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and I won the Tour de France five times in a row.”
Lance Armstrong - Himself

“- Jimmy Dix: What, you don't believe in love?
- Joe Hallenbeck: I believe in love; I also believe in cancer.
- Jimmy Dix: What, they're both diseases?
- Joe Hallenbeck: Something like that.”
Damon Wayans - Jimmy Dix
Bruce Willis - Joe Hallenbeck