“- Hal: Let me ask you something. Who is the all-time love of your life?
- Mauricio: [ponders] Wonder Woman.
- Hal: Okay... let's say Wonder Woman falls in love with you. And everyone else in the world didn't find her attractive.
- Mauricio: It wouldn't matter. Because I know they'd be wrong.”
Jack Black - Hal
Jason Alexander - Mauricio

“- James Wheeler: Was it love at first sight? How did she know?
- Emily Reed: Because it was something she never felt before.”
Mickey Rourke - James Wheeler
Carré Otis - Emily Reed

“- Alex Finch: Philip.
- Philip Train: Yeah.
- Alex Finch: There's something I have to tell you.
- Philip Train: Now?
- Alex Finch: I'm in love with Miranda.
- Philip Train: I know.”
Robert Downey Jr. - Alex Finch
Ryan O'Neal - Philip Train

“I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep: Slowly, and then all at once.”

Shailene Woodley - Hazel

“I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly I see she's not the... bitch I thought she would be.”

Walter Matthau - Max Goldman