“- David Howard: Why didn't you tell me when we got married that you were this horrible gambling addict? It's like when you have a venereal disease, you tell somebody!
- Linda Howard: I've only gambled twice in my life. This was the second time.”
Albert Brooks - David Howard
Julie Hagerty - Linda Howard

“Teen smoking, our bread and butter, is falling like a shit from heaven! We don't sell Tic Tacs for Christ's sake. We sell cigarettes. And they're cool and available and addictive. The job is almost done for us!”
J. K. Simmons - BR

“- Joey Naylor: Why did you tell that reporter all your secrets?
- Nick Naylor: You're too young to understand.
- Joey Naylor: Mom says it's because you have dependency issues and it was all just a matter of time before you threw it all away on some tramp.
- Nick Naylor: Well, that's one theory.”
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor
Cameron Bright - Joey Naylor

“Could I get a real bottle, please? I'm an alcoholic, not a Barbie doll.”

Amy Poehler - Maggie

“For the people who don't do drugs, or just do them occasionally, it's something that becomes your life, and you belong. You finally hit bottom and you know who you are, because you can't go any lower.”
Val Kilmer - Danny Parker