“- Doug Remer: We win, and they get the chicks. That sucks, dude.
- Joe Cooper: I'm telling you, it's jobs. We gotta get jobs. Then we get the khakis. Then we get the chicks.”
Matt Stone - Doug Remer
Trey Parker - Joe Cooper

“- Clothing Store Woman: Have you ever had experience?
- Sean: With what?
- Clothing Store Woman: Women's clothes?
- Sean: What the fuck would I be doing with women's clothes? What do I look like a transvestite? I'm not no fucking transvestite, all right?”

Joyce Cohen - Clothing Store Woman
Devon Sawa - Sean

“- Aboriginal Man: So... You actually make money by dressing up like a woman?
- Tick: Oh, sure. You can make a fine living in a pair of heels.”
Alan Dargin - Aboriginal Man
Hugo Weaving - Tick

“- Saul Silver: What's up with the suit?
- Dale Denton: Oh, I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.
- Saul Silver: Wow, you're a servant? Like a butler? A chauffeur?
- Dale Denton: No, no. What? No, I'm not like...
- Saul Silver: Shine shoes?
- Dale Denton: I'm a process server!”
James Franco - Saul Silver
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton

“- Aunt Aggie: Mother of God! You're wearin' my dead mother's dress!
- Young Frank: I washed my clothes for the big job.
- Aunt Aggie: What big job?
- Young Frank: Telegram boy at the post office.
- Aunt Aggie: If the post officer are taking on the likes of you, they must be in a desperate state.”
Pauline McLynn - Aunt Aggie
Joe Breen - Young Frank