George Carlin movie quotes

Immagine di George Carlin
Identikit and personal data
Last name
May 12, 1937 in Manhattan, New York
June 22, 2008
North American
actor, writer, playwright
Zodiac sign
George Carlin movie quotes, phrases and lines
70 in english
George Carlin quotes
  • “I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin heroic.”
    George Carlin
  • “If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”
    George Carlin
  • “Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?”
    George Carlin
  • The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
    George Carlin
  • “The only thing high-definition television will do is provide sharper pictures of the garbage.”
    George Carlin
  • “If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.”
    George Carlin
  • “It's never just a game when you're winning.”
    George Carlin
  • “If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.”
    George Carlin
  • “I have the same authority as the Pope. I just don't have the same number of people who believe me.”
    George Carlin
  • “The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done'.”
    George Carlin
  • “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
    George Carlin
  • “Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.”
    George Carlin
  • “Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?”
    George Carlin
  • “I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.”
    George Carlin
  • “I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? I can't follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world....” (continue)(continue reading)
    George Carlin
  • “I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”
    George Carlin
  • “The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.”
    George Carlin
  • “Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.”
    George Carlin
  • “- Bart Trinke: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
    - Greenie: You gettin' a dog?”

    George Carlin - Bart Trinke
    Stephen Root - Greenie
  • “Property is theft. Nobody 'owns' anything. When you die, it all stays here.”
    George Carlin
  • “Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
    For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.
    America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
    And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.”

    George Carlin
  • “- Rufus: I'm telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.
    - Cardinal Glick: The Catholic Church does not make mistakes.
    - Rufus: Please. What about the Church's silentconsent to the slavetrade?
    - Bethany: And its platform of noninvolvement during the Holocaust?
    - Cardinal Glick: All right, mistakes were made.”

    Chris Rock - Rufus
    George Carlin - Cardinal Glick
    Linda Fiorentino - Rufus
  • “- Ollie Trinke: Come on, Dad. Don't you wanna live alone again?
    - Bart Trinke: Not as much as I don't wanna die alone.”

    Ben Affleck - Ollie Trinke
    George Carlin - Bart Trinke
  • “I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.”
    George Carlin
  • “As a matter of principle I never attend the first annual anything.”
    George Carlin