“- Victor Duncan: If you're trying to reach me, I'll just cut your hand off.
- Rick Latimer: I've got another one.”
Michael Wright - Victor Duncan
Jim Belushi - Rick Latimer

“- Jay Hamilton: Do you get tired of being all that you can be?
- Chris Vaughn: No, I'm still all that I can be.
- Jay Hamilton: Oh yeah? We'll just see about that...”
Neal McDonough - Jay Hamilton
The Rock - Chris Vaughn

I know what you're thinking: "This woman's a tramp and she's in love with him". Well, I am a tramp! And I am in love with him!

Paulette Goddard - Anita Dixon

“- Mrs. Topper: I think its ridiculous for a man of your age to pursue young girls. What will the neighbors think?
- Cosmo Topper: I didn't pursue them, Clara. They forced themselves on me.
- Mrs. Topper: Don't be absurd! Imagine girls, pretty girls, forcing themselves on a paunchy, middle-aged man.”
Billie Burke - Mrs. Topper
Roland Young - Cosmo Topper

“- Ed: This is where I come to think... I think.
- Dexter Reed: Funny, I never figured you as much of a thinker.”
Kel Mitchell - Ed
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed