“- Pierre: Did he say chateau? Surely they are not staying at the Chateau of the Bad Neighbor.
- Marcie: Yes they are, Mal Voisin.
- Pierre: But that is terrible! They cannot stay there!
- Patty: Why not, Pierre?
- Pierre: They could be in great danger!”
Pascale de Barolet - Pierre
Casey Carlson - Marcie
Roseline Rubens - Patty

This is not a motel called "Cemetery". This is a cemetery called "Motel".
Ezio Greggio - Antonio Motel

“- Capt. Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
- Lt. Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
- Capt. Harris: It was your government that brought us here!
- Lt. Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either!”
G.W. Bailey - Capt. Harris
Gregg Berger - Lt. Talinsky

“If you guys ever thought about brightening this place up, like, you know, a few plants, some flowers, you'd attract a better class of criminal. And man, if I can say one other thing, the room service sucks, and so do some of the customers.”
Dennis Hopper - Huey Walker

“You can check in, but you can't check out.”

Robert Englund - Freddy Krueger