“- Blossom: Meat won the game for me, daddy.
- Porky Wallace: Who?
- Blossom: Meat. Meat Tuperello. He's my boyfriend.
- Porky Wallace: Your what?
- Blossom: We went all the way.”
Wendy Feign - Blossom
Chuck Mitchell - Porky Wallace

“- French Squire 1: An Englishman will not win this French tournament. English legs are unsteady on French soil.
- French Squire 2: And because French wine is too much for English bellies.
- French Squire 3: And most importantly, because the Pope himself is French.
- Roland: Well, the Pope may be French, but Jesus is English! You're on!”
Miroslav Mokos - French Squire
Noel le Bon - French Squire
Scott Bellefeville - French Squire
Mark Addy - Roland

“The stronger swordsman does not necessarily win. It is speed! Speed of hand, speed of mind.”
Richard Harris - Abbé Faria

“Oh, I'm not here with these fellas. I've got a pig in competition over at the livestock pavilion, and I am gonna win that blue ribbon!”

Steve Zahn - Lenny Haise

“- Madeleine Ashton: You should learn not to compete with me. I always win!
- Helen Sharp: You may have always won, but you never played fair!
- Madeleine Ashton: Who cares how I played? I won!”
Meryl Streep - Madeline Ashton
Goldie Hawn - Helen Sharp