“- Ed Hocken: You sure know your boxing.
- Lt. Frank Drebin: All I know is never bet on the white guy.”
George Kennedy - Ed Hocken
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“Bet twenty thousand![the poolhall falls silent]
Oh, did I stutter? Everybody gone all quiet and shit? About a minute ago it was like an evening at the Apollo up in this motherfucker, now all of a sudden it's quiet as a church.”
Mars Callahan - Johnny

“I'm a millionaire! That's the difference. I lose 80 I get another 80. For me it doesn't matter.”
Christopher Walken - Mike

“When was the last time you lost betting on me? Never. I'm probably the best investment your bank ever made.”

John Travolta - Jan Schlichtmann

“- Assistant Casino Manager: You seem to be having quite a run. Is there anything we can do for you?
- Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko: Yes, go down to your vault and tell the rest of your money to be patient, we'll be together soon.”
Ursula Burton - Assistant Casino Manager
Steve Martin - Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko