“- Mrs. Doctor Graves: Poor Daddy's been under such a strain recently.
- Mary Graves: If you ask me, he's acting like he just killed someone.
- Mrs. Doctor Graves: Mary! Your father's a doctor... He kills people every day.”
Stella Stevens - Mrs. Doctor Graves
Julia Duffy - Mary Graves

“- Seymour Flint: I guess I can do a lot of people some good, can't I?
- Grace Quigley: I told you, Seymour. Think of yourself as a doctor. A doctor saves the lives of those who want to live, you take the lives of those who want to die.”
Nick Nolte - Seymour Flint
Katharine Hepburn - Grace Quigley

“You know, a lot of doctors have different theories about why I did it: Mother complex. Father complex. Feelings of inferiority. Suppressed rage. But I, and I alone, know the reason that I did it... It was because... he was so Polish!”

Dom DeLuise - Marlon Borunki

“Bullets are cheap and the medics are late.”

Trevor Goddard - Keefer

“- Egbert Sousé: Hello, Doc. How are ya? How's business?
- Dr. Stall: Fair, fair. I don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping cough epidemic again.”
W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé
Harlan Briggs - Dr. Stall