“- Delgardo: Show me no mercy, give me no bail! I'm ready and willing to go to jail!
- Baxter: I'm not going to send you to jail for two reasons: first, I refuse to make a martyr of you, and second, it is still being redecorated.”
Billy Connolly - Delgado
Sir Michael Caine - Baxter

“I have a client in jail for a busted tail light and I can't get him out.”
Al Pacino - Arthur Kirkland

“- Martland: Can you think of a good reason why I shouldn't arrest you right now?
- Mortdecai: I eschew discomfort?”
Ewan McGregor - Martland
Johnny Depp - Mortdecai

“The awful thing about life is this: everybody has their reasons.”
Jean Renoir - Octave

“- Chief Painter: What are you doing here?
- Michael Shayne: Ask me later. I haven't thought of an answer yet.”

Donald MacBride - Chief Painter
Lloyd Nolan - Michael Shayne