“- The Judge: I remind you not to speak, until you are spoken to!
- Bob McKenzie: He's startin' to sound like the old man. Soon he'll be sending me out for beers.”

David Beard - The Judge
Rick Moranis - Bob McKenzie

“- Newt Dobbs: Gus, are you sure the Captain is my father?
- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Yep, he is.
- Newt Dobbs: He ain't never mentioned it.
- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well, Woodrow ain't much of a mentioner.”
Ricky Schroder - Newt Dobbs
Robert Duvall - Augustus 'Gus' McCrae

“- Gaear Grimsrud: Shut the fuck up! Or I'll throw you back in the trunk, you know?
- Carl Showalter: Jesus, that's more than I've heard you say all week.”

Peter Stormare - Gaear Grimsrud
Steve Buscemi - Carl Showalter

“You ever talk that way to my kid again... I'm knockin' you out!”

Michael Keaton - Jack

“- Father Ritley: Marym Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass.”
Mark McKinney - Father Ritley
Molly Shannon - Mary Katherine Gallagher