“- April Mercedes: Can I ask you a personal question?
- Walt Tenor: Nine inches.”
Eva Mendes - April Mercedes
Greg Kinnear - Walt Tenor

- David Langley: Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer.
- Kevin Langley: Yeah, like "What is an intrauterine device?".
- David Langley: I think more like "What's the meaning of life?".
- Kevin Langley: I never asked you that.
Peter MacNicol - David Langley
Andrew Lawrence - Kevin Langley

“- Sean Dawkins: Hey, Uncle Billy lost his right nut in 'nam.
- Gordie Boggs: Well kick him in his left nut when you see him. These seats bite!
- Sean Dawkins: If you only have one left, is it still your left nut?”
Scott Caan - Sean Dawkins
David Arquette - Gordie Boggs

- Marie: Mister, what does it mean... when a man "crashes out"?
- Healy: Crashes out? That's a funny question for you to ask now, Sister. It means he's free.

Ida Lupino - Marie
Jerome Cowan - Healy

“Why in all conscience should these be the ones to suffer? Children, old people, a young girl at the height of her loveliness. Why these? Are these our soldiers? Are these our fighters? Why should they be sacrificed?”
Henry Wilcoxon - Vicar